Nowhere To Go
by ashehole
Summary: Now that the Darkling is defeated, Nadia wonders what is left for Tamar in Ravka.


"Can I ask you something?"

Tamar looks up from where she's sharpening her blades. There's something in Nadia's voice that twinges a little, tells her that she needs to pay attention. Her head tilts as she takes in her lover, managing to resist the urge to let her eyes roam over her for perhaps the hundredth time that morning. Her question is serious, said in a soft tone, and it demands respect.

"I believe you just did," Tamar points out with a small smile.

There's serious look in Nadia's eyes, but a smile flickers over her face anyway. "Another one, then."

Tamar nods, putting her sword down as she waits.

Nadia shifts in her chair uncomfortably, pulling at invisible threads on her blue _kefta_. "What are your plans?"

Golden eyes blink back at Nadia. "My plans?"

Her nose wrinkles, and Tamar can't help but think about how cute that look is on her. There's a bitter sort of edge to it, an exasperation that she's biting back. War has smoothed out some of Nadia's edges, but there is still the spark of a girl who used to be a little bit more cruel than she tries to be now.

"For you. And your future." She goes back to plucking at threads that don't exist. She is no longer in threadbare _keftas_, after all.

Tamar tries to not smile about the nervous habit.

"For us?" she asks.

Nadia waves her hand, as if meaning to dismiss the question, as if telling Tamar that _of course_ she's asking about them. What else would she mean? Why else would she be so nervous? "For us. Obviously, we were in a dire situation, and sometimes people make mistakes-"

Tamar growls, and that instantly shuts Nadia up, her face going paler than usual. But her gaze doesn't drop from her own. There is backbone in this girl that's progressed through time and despair and getting out from that one girl's thumb.

It's a cruel thought, Tamar mulls over, to think that the best thing for Nadia was to have Marie die on her. Yet, that is the nature of life.

"Do you mean to tell me that you think I'm a mistake?" Tamar asks her, and the way her eyes widen in fear says so much to Tamar.

"Saints, no. I meant… You. Perhaps you had picked wrong. From desperation. And I didn't - if you want to leave, I won't stop you."

There's a sudden stillness in the air as Tamar unfolds herself from her seat and pads her way over to where Nadia's all but crumbled in her own place. She stares up at her with wide, terrified eyes. There is loneliness in that gaze, and desperation. Despair at the idea of being adrift with nobody to anchor herself to again.

She almost thinks perhaps Nadia needs a lesson in standing on her own two feet, but that is not the nature of Nadia. Tamar knows this.

With a sigh, Tamar sinks to her knees before the other Grisha. Her hands rest lightly on her thighs as she pushes between. A faint blush settles on Nadia's face as Tamar looks up at her.

"You won't fight for me?" she asks softly, a teasing lilt to her tone. "You would let me go that easily."

The blush becomes more of an angry flush. Steel flashes in her eyes. "I won't fight for someone who doesn't want to stay with me," Nadia snaps. "I won't fight a pointless battle only to get hurt in the end."

"That is the price of life," Tamar tells her, as her hands crawl over her thighs to her hips. She reaches up until her mouth is mere inches from the other girl's. A smirk tugs at her lips as Nadia's breath quickens. "And love, too, so I've heard."

"Love?"

"I would fight for you, if you left," Tamar continues.

Nadia's hands clench into fists for a moment before she threads her fingers in Tamar's short, dark hair. It's a soothing touch, and Tamar leans into it. "That doesn't surprise me. You're always looking for a good fight."

"One day, I will teach you to love the fight just as much," she laughs against her mouth before capturing it in a firm kiss. Not harsh or angry, but hard enough to make her feelings clear.

She is not leaving, not unless Nadia is leaving. That's simply the way it is. War had brought them together, but Tamar isn't so easily deterred from what she wants. And she knows Nadia well enough by now that she doesn't give up, either.


End file.
